What should my symbol be?
What moments can be more descriptive that wasn’t easily vivid?
What was your favorite part(s) of the essay?
Am I missing any other important details?
Is my argument clear?
Did the story transition smoothly?
It's wild in here
Jake's Jungle 
1) Your symbol should be the high school.
2) I felt like all the moments you shared were really good and descriptive.
3) My favorite part of the essay is when you where watching tennis and eating ice cream and coke with your grandma. All the memory’s with your grandma i liked.
4) i do not think you are missing any important details.
5) I didn’t really see a argument.
6) The story did transition smoothly.
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1. The lonely house is a good symbol. You could repeat the feeling of being lonely in a home compared with your grandmother’s, especially in comparison to her blue home. What were the colors of the other houses? The cards without her signature being incomplete works of art is definitely metaphoric! Perhaps this could somehow tie back to the blue home… like a house without the color blue.
2. So many vivid moments here! Maybe a few more memories? Disneyland?
3. When you cried in your room, the moment holding your grandmother’s hand, and when your grandma passed in the hospital. Very human, very real and moving. I teared up reading it.
4. Look to my handwritten feedback for suggestions! I’m not sure if you need the first part about school unless you return to a view of your life now—somehow tie back to it if it’s important for the story.
5. I think your main argument is something like, “Hold onto the ones who make you feel loved, for before you know it and are ready for it, they will pass.” What do you think it is?
6. The transitions are smooth!
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